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5 Steps to Change an Argument into a Conversation.

Have you ever wanted a magic wand that you could wave over your argument with your spouse and magically you both would be staring into each others eyes having a deep meaningful conversation?  

Well, I’ve googled it and it doesn’t exist, lol. But, there is good news!

These 5 easy to follow actions are the next best thing to waving that magic wand. 

The very first step is to try to gain understanding, that is the goal…to have honest conversations. They are WORTH IT in the LONG RUN of your relationship.

  • Get In-State! This means to get your emotions under control. Get anchored to strength and calmness. You can do this by controlled breathing. Changing your thoughts on how to best respond. If you let your emotions call the shots in an argument, they may take you down a hurtful path that you could end up regretting.  Be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger.
  • Provide an environment for each other to feel comfortable in sharing their truth. This is best accomplished by allotting time for you both to express your feelings and point of view without interruption. You do this by #3…
  • DO NOT get offended. Listen. Let your spouse talk. DO NOT try to fix the situation. Us men are “fixers” and often times our wives just want us to listen ASK, “do you want me to respond or just listen”? This is a CHOICE predicated by #1 above. 

"Do Not Get Offended"

  • Seek understanding by asking questions like...“What did you mean by that”? “Let me see if I understand” or “Is what you are trying to tell me?” Taking the time to get clarity will always serve you in the end. Misunderstandings are often the cause of many arguments. 
  • KNOW your spouse’s personality and adjust your communication to it. There is NO faster or better way to really understand your spouse (and yourself) than to take the DISC Model of Human Behavior.

You now have the tips and strategy to transform your next argument into your best conversation.

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